Conversation with the Queen
- Friday, June 29, 2012 at 06:28


Martin McGuinness had to work closely with Ian Paisley for some 5 years and most likely will find meeting the royal entourage a form of comic relief. The meeting, might be a good opportunity to explore the Irish peace process with her so that he might apprise her of his concerns for the hard work of fulfilling the terms of the 1998 peace pact. A dialogue might go something like this.

McGuinness: Your Majesty, re-hiring of 300 pensioned police officers to deal with the backlog of the Historical Enquiries Team of unsolved killings during the conflict has the effect of the guilty closing a file on their own lawlessness. That undermines the search for justice. Why give dissidents this boost?

Queen: Martin can you think of a better way to keep up this charade about defending democracy and law and order for the last 30 years? It‘s a full time job cleaning up our murder and mayhem and making it look like we were the good guys. Besides all my loyal subjects miss the military payroll and would love to have it back.

McGuinness: Prime Minister Cameron unilaterally dismissed the Belfast Treaty obligation to provide a public inquiry into the admitted murder of attorney Patrick Finucane by your security forces colluding with loyalist thugs. We had your legal promise to hold the public inquiry.

Queen: My dear boy we have been breaking our promises in Ireland for centuries. You didn’t think this would be any different did you? Why spend all that money on a public inquiry when we all know that #10 Downing Street quite literally called the shots. Besides do you have any idea how much it cost to polish jewels these days?

McGuinness: One of the re-hire police officers from the Special Branch, Norman Baxter, has asked the U. S. for records from Boston College allegedly dealing with a 1972 killing at the peak of the conflict. What is the point of this nearly 40 years later and 14 years after the peace pact was signed?

Queen: My bankers advise that it just wouldn’t do to have your people in power in Ireland so we do what we can to smear Sinn Fein officials and throw in the odd murder if required. We always have a plan for Ireland and occasionally America can be useful in carrying it out.

McGuinness: Two seriously ill political prisoners---Gerry McGeough and Marion Price---are imprisoned in defiance of the letter and spirit of the Belfast Agreement. N. I. Minister Owen Patterson can’t explain or rationally justify McGeough’s imprisonment and claims he can’t find Ms. Price’sRoyal Prerogative of Mercy. Could you look through your closets or desks and see if you have a copy of it for her?

Queen: It is in the public interest, and if not in the public’s interest certainly my Ministers interest to exact some tribute to the Crown and throw a bone to the poor loyalist sots who need some symbol of revenge and of victory. It is nothing personal.

Michael J Cummings (Public Relations Dir of the National Board of the AOH, National Board Member, Irish American Unity Conference)

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